a recent book i have been reading has talked about the "10 percent" of our worlds population that see things differently, a genetic predispotion to explore the subconscious, a need for challenging the norms, and feeling excitement, a distaste for man made rules and norms....
the i feel describes me to a tee...
then the book goes on to discuss how that rules and norms are built for the majority (the other 90% or seek order and structure), and powerbases are built up around maintaing the rules and order for these 90% and those of the 10% who threaten this with revolutionary, and unique ideas that threaten the norm and the power structure, are shunned, ridiculed, and scared into remission where they hide their impulses and desired actions, in order to fit in, and this creates a great discourse with their psyche's, thus leaving those like me stuck, not knowing how to express ourselves appropriately out of fear of being further ridicules because our understand and way of epression, are not aligned with whats been defined for the "normal"...
i think that this is a very relative concept as it marks me to a tee...
and can explain why i often will turn to the bottle, to hide away those in hibitors
Monday, April 4, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
walk straight, talk straight...
this past friday i went to see a local band "the soul miners" play at a little bar down the street,
this band is pretty awesome, they have amazing musicians and a great singer, and play really soulful classic R&B music,
once they get the crowd into it, people really seem to let lose, and just have a good time, i went early this time and got to lay witness to this transformational process of the crowd, and this really got me thinking...
i came upstairs before the band started, there were about 10 people in the bar total, i got the first seat at the bar, the other 2 groups of 5 were sitting at their tables, a bit of a mixed crowd between local townies and college kids, of different ages, mainly all white folk at first, though the crowd went to about 30% black as the night progressed....
when i first got there everyone seemed pretty uptight, there was little interaction beyond the groups that people had came with, everyone seemed to be doing their best to walk the straight lines they had been taught to walk, and afraid of getting shunned or looked at funny if they stepped out of this box...
when the band started playing, people started head bopping around a bit, singing along, starting to get into it, of course as the more beers progressed, the more shots were poured, eventually some people got up to dance,
there was one girl who went up to dance early, hadnt seemed to have much to drink, she was trying really hard, but looked like she had watched one of those how to dance on tape videos, she really didnt seem to be at peace with herself at all, a few girls that joined her started getting into it a bit, and they drug a guy that was with them out, you could tell he was apprehensious about going, he tried to get into it, but was really stiff, another guy standing next to me snatched the hand of a girl who was bopping along and took her to the floor, they started moving really freely to the rythm and seemed to be into it, of course the 3 rounds of shots i had seen him purchase, and the 2 tall vodka tonics she had had were playing a pretty good part in that...
before you knew it, more and more people, myself included, had had some more drinks, and got intoxicated by all the music and the atmosphere of others getting into it, as well as the great music, and we were all dancing along, it was a really cool transformation to witness, but one thought kept going through my mind, that these people really looked at peace, right with theirselves doing this, and why was it that they couldnt just do this all the time, why couldnt they even just do this earlier this night, before the rounds of alcohol, and the hours of great music, why was it that only after this could they let themselves feel so free......
this band is pretty awesome, they have amazing musicians and a great singer, and play really soulful classic R&B music,
once they get the crowd into it, people really seem to let lose, and just have a good time, i went early this time and got to lay witness to this transformational process of the crowd, and this really got me thinking...
i came upstairs before the band started, there were about 10 people in the bar total, i got the first seat at the bar, the other 2 groups of 5 were sitting at their tables, a bit of a mixed crowd between local townies and college kids, of different ages, mainly all white folk at first, though the crowd went to about 30% black as the night progressed....
when i first got there everyone seemed pretty uptight, there was little interaction beyond the groups that people had came with, everyone seemed to be doing their best to walk the straight lines they had been taught to walk, and afraid of getting shunned or looked at funny if they stepped out of this box...
when the band started playing, people started head bopping around a bit, singing along, starting to get into it, of course as the more beers progressed, the more shots were poured, eventually some people got up to dance,
there was one girl who went up to dance early, hadnt seemed to have much to drink, she was trying really hard, but looked like she had watched one of those how to dance on tape videos, she really didnt seem to be at peace with herself at all, a few girls that joined her started getting into it a bit, and they drug a guy that was with them out, you could tell he was apprehensious about going, he tried to get into it, but was really stiff, another guy standing next to me snatched the hand of a girl who was bopping along and took her to the floor, they started moving really freely to the rythm and seemed to be into it, of course the 3 rounds of shots i had seen him purchase, and the 2 tall vodka tonics she had had were playing a pretty good part in that...
before you knew it, more and more people, myself included, had had some more drinks, and got intoxicated by all the music and the atmosphere of others getting into it, as well as the great music, and we were all dancing along, it was a really cool transformation to witness, but one thought kept going through my mind, that these people really looked at peace, right with theirselves doing this, and why was it that they couldnt just do this all the time, why couldnt they even just do this earlier this night, before the rounds of alcohol, and the hours of great music, why was it that only after this could they let themselves feel so free......
where to begin...
thats always the hard part the begining, after that everything usually seems to flow, but its always dificult to start, i guess to give some idea as to the purpose and direction of this latest attempt i need to start with a little synapsis of the goal, its simple really, and yet its very complex, but arent all the best things...
see i am a drinker, a wild man, known to get buzzed up and raise hell, i love to dance, act up, yell, disrupt the norm....
possibly because the norm is such a strange place, the artificial fakeness of the place we call reality, with all of the bullshit rules and procedures that are put in front of you, telling you how to walk, what to think, how to dress, how to be, what you should dream....
possibly because i just dont like following rules, i never have, ive always been one for forging my own path, not following someone else,
possibly just something off with me, maybe im mad at myself and i like to take it out on the world around me,
either way, i like the wild and crazy me, and i dont want to quit drinking because i dont like what happens when im drunk, to the contraire i want to learn how to be me, my true self, the one that finds his way out when i have had enough to lower the inhibitions, without having to rely on drinking to lower those inhibitions...
thus i am dedicating this blog, and my efforts, to a new journey i am embarking on,
to learn to dance sober...
see i am a drinker, a wild man, known to get buzzed up and raise hell, i love to dance, act up, yell, disrupt the norm....
possibly because the norm is such a strange place, the artificial fakeness of the place we call reality, with all of the bullshit rules and procedures that are put in front of you, telling you how to walk, what to think, how to dress, how to be, what you should dream....
possibly because i just dont like following rules, i never have, ive always been one for forging my own path, not following someone else,
possibly just something off with me, maybe im mad at myself and i like to take it out on the world around me,
either way, i like the wild and crazy me, and i dont want to quit drinking because i dont like what happens when im drunk, to the contraire i want to learn how to be me, my true self, the one that finds his way out when i have had enough to lower the inhibitions, without having to rely on drinking to lower those inhibitions...
thus i am dedicating this blog, and my efforts, to a new journey i am embarking on,
to learn to dance sober...
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