So day 6, 7, and 8 represented for the first real challenge, a weekend ski trip was planned, and it was super bowl weekend. Folks that know me, know that I love snowboarding, so a snowboarding weekend without drinking and eating healthy could be an easy task, if I was going by myself, or with a group of hard core snowboarders like myself. That wasnt the case however, this was basically a party weekend at a ski slope. They were loaded up on booze and junk food and ready to eat, drink, and be merry in a different location (and everyone wandered just what I was going for if I wasnt going to be drinking, do i just like torturing myself, or am I just a glutten for punishment (probably so), but more so this was more about why I was challenging myself to this month. It wasnt just to clean up and be healthy, it was more to learn to not rely on the bad habits so much, and have fun without them. I could have easily held up at home, exercised, gotten more intimate with my fiddle, watched some movies, caught up on some books, etc. for the month, but that would have just left me hungry for a good time, and made me attribute the bad habits more to being the good time, thus March Relapse here we come.....
Many people when they say they want to quit drinking, do so because they want to quit partying, quit doing the crazy things, quit being so immature....
That has very. very little to do with my plan.
Actually I was looking for the opposite, instead I wanted and am working on learning to dance sober. Learning to let myself be the wild and free, the unihibited person that everyone looks forward to seeing without hiding behind the guise of the unhealthy habits.
Again not saying that I will quit drinking entirely, I still plan on partying it up in NOLA, and plan on getting together with friends and having those fun times. I just think somewhere along the path we misattributed the fun that we are trying to have with the intoxication focusing more on the latter, and less on really enjoying the first.
So my challenge was to walk into the belly of the beast, and dance with the lions. And this weekend really had it cut out for me.
I ate healthy going into the day on Friday. Came home, packed up my bags quickly, my friend called and offered a ride up. He stopped to pick me up. And there was a bottle of Smirnoff in a paper bag on the floor and a case of beer in his car, all headed to meet up with all their other cousins being brought from everyone else at the house we were staying at, along with all the unhealthy food options you could ever want. When we arrived everyone else had been drinking for hours already. They were definitely not feeling much pain, very loud, and eating away at various dips (that were all delicious). The amount of food was great, but it was almost as if there existed a warning sign saying nothing healthy allowed (for the Friday night anyways). There were eggs and some veggies for omelets for the mornings breakfastes but otherwise it seemed this weekend was solely dedicated to unhealthy choices.
I will admit the disco ball in the dining room set up for the dance party was pretty awesome. And after a few rounds (more rounds for most) of shots and beers, people were already making there way in to dance and sing. Everyone slowly started migrating to the dance floor (im still drinking water, but trying to loosen up and get into my happy place). I started trying to loosen up myself and make it out. A few times i found my rhythm and started bouncing around, but I will heartedly admit taking center stage of the dance floor (even among drunken friends who were doing the same, still seemed to be to scary of a task for my sober butt). As the night progressed I was looking forward to going to the bar later that evening. there was supposed to be a good band playing and I was hoping to run into some ski bunnies as most people on this trip were paired up in the guy girl fashion, and the majority of those not were guys, or at least a break from the the drunken obnoxiousness of everyone around (they were really getting loud now, but they were all having fun so I couldnt mind to much).
The car ride was the worst (and it was payback I am sure because just the weekend before i played the drunken passenger). I drove (of course, my friends car that I wasnt used to. It had those back up cameras and we had a long path to back down between two walls. Using the camera was hard for me as I am used to looking backwards and turning that way. And with to many heads between me and the back window (we had 8 in the car I believe). When we got to the bar I was quick to get inside. One of the guys with us convinced the door man we had been there earlier so we didnt have to pay the cover. The place was pretty dead, there were some people at the bar, a couple tables full of guys and there were a few groups of girls around so I thought this might have some potential. Of course they were all in groups of friends and working up the nerve to infiltrate was quite a challenge for someone in complete sobriety.
The group was ordering shots, and one girl decided that the one guy at the table behind us didnt like our black friend (I really saw no signs of this, but she was insistent). I heard billie jean coming from the band on the otherside of the bar so I made my way over there. I sat down and said hi to the girl with (what I assumed to be her boyfriend) sitting next to me on the one end while I watched the band. The rest of the group made there way in just about then, so I proceeded to proclaim to my new conversation mates that I was that groups designated driver (as if i needed to explain away my sobriety because it was such a sin).
I watched as the members of our group took to the dance floor, a few putting on quite a show and entertaining the rest of the patrons of which some joined it. It kind of seemed like everyone there really wanted to dance and let lose, but that they were all to afraid to do so, worried what others would think, stuck in their boxes, and needed someone to go first. . Once they saw someone else letting lose, they started to try to let lose, most dancing very tightly, like someone was just pouring oil into their locked up joints. These two girls had came in and sat in chairs by the bar they were definitely in the category above, you could tell the one really wanted to dance, and just wanted everyone else to be doing it so she didnt feel awkward. A few songs in she was letting lose, a few shots were bought by the guys in front and passed to her and her friend, scenes like this were going on across the bar (it was still pretty dead maybe 25 people tops) but by now most people had taken a few drinks and were starting to bop around as a couple really started to dance. Just about that time my group was feeling the need to go back, I guess thet felt they were to far ahead of this curve and wanted to get to their own dance party. Since I was the driver I was inclined to leave, if we would have stayed much longer I was on the verge of challenging myself to go out and dance with the dancing girl mentioned above.
We went back to the house where more shots were taken and dance party ensued. Everyone was getting really loud, feeling like they needed to be heard over everyone else, and the music was cranked up so loud it was essential for them to yell this way. I wondered a few times why they didnt just turn the music down a little bit, but I guess when intoxicated you need music to be even louder to dance. I was feeling pretty beat, so I went to go sit on the couch. Sittign turned into laying, and amidst the loud music the next thing I knew there were people clammering to find pillows and blankets to cover me up with. I just went along with the pampering and went to sleep there.
Morning came, I had a sniffle in the back of my nose, thinking to myself oh great, here you go, trying to stay healthy, no drinking, and still getting sick.
I had a pretty good sausage omellette they made for breakfast. Then everyone started contemplating what the ski plans were for the day. To be honest conditions looked awful. When we drove past the mountain the only snow was the man made snow on the trails and it was bare everywhere else. It was obviously icy, and looked crappy. A debate waged over whether to go for the morning session which was $55 or the afternoon which was $35, most people seemed to prefer riding for the morning, but the price was just short $5 or the price to ride all day. No one could seem to justigy the $55 for a few hours in the morning. And there didnt seem to be great interest in riding for the afternoon. The debate then changed to whether to Ski or Snowboard for the afternoon, or to ice skate, ride the mountain coaster, and tube. That convo didnt last long and started dying off, and it became apparent most people were going to nap. One guy was heading to the grocery store so I joined him hoping to get something to help out with my sniffle.When we got to the grocery store I noticed a gym next door. While there I picked up some nasal saline spray (just salt water, no chemicals, sticking to my rules). We stopped at the boat store after as he wanted to look at wake board boats. We got back to the house, and everyone was sleeping. I determined that no one was going to do anything productive, so I proceeded to talk one guy into going to the gyme with me for the afternoon (though he couldnt justify the $15, so I offered to pay ( i guess it wasnt worth the 4 drinks he would have to give up, same logic I probably would have used last week).
We got a solid 2 hour workout in. While there we recieved a text that they had all went to the bar for lunch. It was a fun bar they were headed to and sounded like fun, I was a bit jealous, and almost wanted to say let's go now, but then remembered I wasnt drinking anyways so decided to stick to finishing the workout first.
After the workout we stopped at Subway on the way home. I did get a chicken bacon ranch (I at least loaded it with veggies, and my protien detox was starting in 3 days so I let myself splurge).We got back to the house, where he was going to shower then we were going to go meet them at the bar. It had started snowing pretty heavy when we had left the gym and by the time he was out of the shower the snow had covered the ground heavy. I was thinking that conditions at the ski resort should be getting good, just then he came out and said that they were on their way back. I waited for them to get back, and asked if they were going to go to the resort for any of the activities discussed that morning. It was apparent that was likely not happening, so then I went ahead and got dressed for snowboarding and asked who was giving me a ride. One guy let me borrow his truck and I headed out fo the night session. I got there and snow was abundant on the roads and parking lots. The resort was still pretty dead, so i was just thinking great condition, short lift lines, yeeehawwww. I bought a night pass which was only $35 I rode for a few hours, the conditions wernt as good as expected all the ice underneath was still there so things were rather slick.I headed back to the house after a few hours and arrived just as they were making dinner. I cooked myself up a couple venison steaks (much leaner and natural than the huge hunks of beef the others were devouring, ate some mashed potatoes and a salad by the time I was finishing the dining room was being coverted back to a dance floor. This time arranged a little differently, with chairs around the outside and setting the floor up kind of like a stage. The music presumed, everyone started letting lose slowly, oh and then the Bunny costume head showed up.
This was quite interesting as it was entertaining to say the least. It was a huge bunny head, and whoever put on the costume automatically took the dance floor. One comment was offered that when you put on the mask you feel free to do anything. I started to wonder if "intoxication" didnt serve as that same mask, if we didnt hide behind it, to let ourselves be free, or if more that it didnt allow us to take off our other mask that society puts on us, to walk straight, to talk straight, to do this, to not do that, to follow rules, and to not express ourselves. The symbolism of this mask will definitely play out somewhere in this journey. I participated in dance party for a while. Video taped some hilarious scenes even got up and danced myself a few times (it was much easier with the mask I must say). After a while they were all getting loud, there was a slight anger tone going on from a few folks, and I being sober was becoming more annoyed so snuck off to bed.
That was Friday and Saturday... next up Super bowl sunday...
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