Day's 9 and 10 were the start of the Isogenix Protien Cleanse. Under advice from my former chiropractor and certified medical nutritionist I was advised that prior to going on any type of liver detox, that I should start by trying to cleanse the fat and toxins out of my stomach. He explained the process of stored sugars from binging on junk foods and alcohol, and basically how beer bellies are made. The basic concept is simple and makes a lot of sense. When one takes in more food, sugar, and alcohol than the liver and digestive organs can handle, the body needs to do something with these, and while the liver is taking its time to focus on the alcohol, all of the excess sugars are not able to make their way through the system and are stored as fat. Within this fat toxins get stored up because they havent been detoxed by the liver and kidneys. So when these things break lose they can be the root cause of many illnesses, including stomach bugs, sinus infections, etc.
His suggestion was to go on this Isogenix protien cleanse. This cleanse is focused on first introducing these root extract blend on a cleansing liquit to your system on en empty stomach to start the cleanse process. You then take these caplets that have your needed daily vitamins to make sure you dont do damage to your body. And for 2 days go with just this in a series of capsule, cleanse liquid rotations throughout the day.
Then for 5 days you do a high protien, low sugar, low fat, low glycegen diet, that consists of protien shakes for breakfast and dinner and a high protien focused lunch with whole grains, veggies, fruits and yogurt for lunch.
Then 2 more days of the original cleanse. Then resuming normal eating habits but trying to focus on healthy normal eating habits.
The desired effects is to turn your body on the fat making it attack it to get the sugar in needs / wants. This is expected to cause 5 to 10 lbs of weight loss within the 9 days as well as greatly increasing metabolism and energy levels. Well in 2 days I have already lost 4.2lbs. And my energy level is tremendous. Not eating wasnt as hard as I expected, drank a ton of water though, and falling asleep hungry was hard. THe non social aspects were difficult as most social interaction revolves around eating or drinking, but I spent a lot of time in the gym working out as I had all this excess energy.
I did a lot of cardio, worked out my back, shoulders, delts, chest, triceps, and even spent some time in Yoga. These two days were a bit of a challenge to deny the desire for food, and the caplets really did make a difference.
At the end I was very much looking forward to the smoothie and actual food for lunch the followin day though. But overall nowhere near as difficult as expected.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Day 8, Superbowl Sunday...
Well day 6 and 7 for the weekend were definitely a challenge, being around people over indulging in intoxication while maintaining full sobriety was very interesting.
Typically a Sunday would be no issue, my Sundays are usually filled with catching up on work that needs done, visiting my mom, or going outside and doing something anyway. Sunday's other than the occasional Sunday funday are typically my healthy day of the week.
But then there is super bowl sunday. The day people dedicate to some football game most dont care about, but that gives them an excuse to join the rest of the country in drinking and eating junk food on a sunday.
I love me some tailgate food mind you, all the flavors, all the fried deliciousness, the dips, the grease, my mouth is watering as i type it.
I decided that as I started the official protien detox the next day, I would let myself splurge on food and just avoid the alcohol. After spending my day getting a few things done at the house and resting up a bit from the weekend, i went to the gym for an hour, and then came home showered cooked up some treats, and headed to a superbowl party.
The junk food was out, pizza rolls, taquitos, chicken tenders, chips, salsa, guacamole, buffalo chicken dip, and a little veggie tray looking lonely in the corner. I tasted a little of each, but avoided drinking. Beer pong was being played in the basement, and most people wernt watching the game. The music was a little stagnant focusing on all old school rap / hip hop, so I took over the DJ seat for a bit with some variety, and everyone seemed to like it and loosen up. I stayed for the extent of the game, not drinking. Talked to a few people, interacted pretty much the same as everyone else. No one was obliviously drunk but most were buzzed. I left a little earlier than everyone else after knowing that I wanted to get up early to try and make the gym in the morning. OVerall this day wasnt as bad of a challenge as I expected, despite the fact that I did let myself cheat with the food a bit.
Typically a Sunday would be no issue, my Sundays are usually filled with catching up on work that needs done, visiting my mom, or going outside and doing something anyway. Sunday's other than the occasional Sunday funday are typically my healthy day of the week.
But then there is super bowl sunday. The day people dedicate to some football game most dont care about, but that gives them an excuse to join the rest of the country in drinking and eating junk food on a sunday.
I love me some tailgate food mind you, all the flavors, all the fried deliciousness, the dips, the grease, my mouth is watering as i type it.
I decided that as I started the official protien detox the next day, I would let myself splurge on food and just avoid the alcohol. After spending my day getting a few things done at the house and resting up a bit from the weekend, i went to the gym for an hour, and then came home showered cooked up some treats, and headed to a superbowl party.
The junk food was out, pizza rolls, taquitos, chicken tenders, chips, salsa, guacamole, buffalo chicken dip, and a little veggie tray looking lonely in the corner. I tasted a little of each, but avoided drinking. Beer pong was being played in the basement, and most people wernt watching the game. The music was a little stagnant focusing on all old school rap / hip hop, so I took over the DJ seat for a bit with some variety, and everyone seemed to like it and loosen up. I stayed for the extent of the game, not drinking. Talked to a few people, interacted pretty much the same as everyone else. No one was obliviously drunk but most were buzzed. I left a little earlier than everyone else after knowing that I wanted to get up early to try and make the gym in the morning. OVerall this day wasnt as bad of a challenge as I expected, despite the fact that I did let myself cheat with the food a bit.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Day 6 and 7 first weekend challenge....
So day 6, 7, and 8 represented for the first real challenge, a weekend ski trip was planned, and it was super bowl weekend. Folks that know me, know that I love snowboarding, so a snowboarding weekend without drinking and eating healthy could be an easy task, if I was going by myself, or with a group of hard core snowboarders like myself. That wasnt the case however, this was basically a party weekend at a ski slope. They were loaded up on booze and junk food and ready to eat, drink, and be merry in a different location (and everyone wandered just what I was going for if I wasnt going to be drinking, do i just like torturing myself, or am I just a glutten for punishment (probably so), but more so this was more about why I was challenging myself to this month. It wasnt just to clean up and be healthy, it was more to learn to not rely on the bad habits so much, and have fun without them. I could have easily held up at home, exercised, gotten more intimate with my fiddle, watched some movies, caught up on some books, etc. for the month, but that would have just left me hungry for a good time, and made me attribute the bad habits more to being the good time, thus March Relapse here we come.....
Many people when they say they want to quit drinking, do so because they want to quit partying, quit doing the crazy things, quit being so immature....
That has very. very little to do with my plan.
Actually I was looking for the opposite, instead I wanted and am working on learning to dance sober. Learning to let myself be the wild and free, the unihibited person that everyone looks forward to seeing without hiding behind the guise of the unhealthy habits.
Again not saying that I will quit drinking entirely, I still plan on partying it up in NOLA, and plan on getting together with friends and having those fun times. I just think somewhere along the path we misattributed the fun that we are trying to have with the intoxication focusing more on the latter, and less on really enjoying the first.
So my challenge was to walk into the belly of the beast, and dance with the lions. And this weekend really had it cut out for me.
I ate healthy going into the day on Friday. Came home, packed up my bags quickly, my friend called and offered a ride up. He stopped to pick me up. And there was a bottle of Smirnoff in a paper bag on the floor and a case of beer in his car, all headed to meet up with all their other cousins being brought from everyone else at the house we were staying at, along with all the unhealthy food options you could ever want. When we arrived everyone else had been drinking for hours already. They were definitely not feeling much pain, very loud, and eating away at various dips (that were all delicious). The amount of food was great, but it was almost as if there existed a warning sign saying nothing healthy allowed (for the Friday night anyways). There were eggs and some veggies for omelets for the mornings breakfastes but otherwise it seemed this weekend was solely dedicated to unhealthy choices.
I will admit the disco ball in the dining room set up for the dance party was pretty awesome. And after a few rounds (more rounds for most) of shots and beers, people were already making there way in to dance and sing. Everyone slowly started migrating to the dance floor (im still drinking water, but trying to loosen up and get into my happy place). I started trying to loosen up myself and make it out. A few times i found my rhythm and started bouncing around, but I will heartedly admit taking center stage of the dance floor (even among drunken friends who were doing the same, still seemed to be to scary of a task for my sober butt). As the night progressed I was looking forward to going to the bar later that evening. there was supposed to be a good band playing and I was hoping to run into some ski bunnies as most people on this trip were paired up in the guy girl fashion, and the majority of those not were guys, or at least a break from the the drunken obnoxiousness of everyone around (they were really getting loud now, but they were all having fun so I couldnt mind to much).
The car ride was the worst (and it was payback I am sure because just the weekend before i played the drunken passenger). I drove (of course, my friends car that I wasnt used to. It had those back up cameras and we had a long path to back down between two walls. Using the camera was hard for me as I am used to looking backwards and turning that way. And with to many heads between me and the back window (we had 8 in the car I believe). When we got to the bar I was quick to get inside. One of the guys with us convinced the door man we had been there earlier so we didnt have to pay the cover. The place was pretty dead, there were some people at the bar, a couple tables full of guys and there were a few groups of girls around so I thought this might have some potential. Of course they were all in groups of friends and working up the nerve to infiltrate was quite a challenge for someone in complete sobriety.
The group was ordering shots, and one girl decided that the one guy at the table behind us didnt like our black friend (I really saw no signs of this, but she was insistent). I heard billie jean coming from the band on the otherside of the bar so I made my way over there. I sat down and said hi to the girl with (what I assumed to be her boyfriend) sitting next to me on the one end while I watched the band. The rest of the group made there way in just about then, so I proceeded to proclaim to my new conversation mates that I was that groups designated driver (as if i needed to explain away my sobriety because it was such a sin).
I watched as the members of our group took to the dance floor, a few putting on quite a show and entertaining the rest of the patrons of which some joined it. It kind of seemed like everyone there really wanted to dance and let lose, but that they were all to afraid to do so, worried what others would think, stuck in their boxes, and needed someone to go first. . Once they saw someone else letting lose, they started to try to let lose, most dancing very tightly, like someone was just pouring oil into their locked up joints. These two girls had came in and sat in chairs by the bar they were definitely in the category above, you could tell the one really wanted to dance, and just wanted everyone else to be doing it so she didnt feel awkward. A few songs in she was letting lose, a few shots were bought by the guys in front and passed to her and her friend, scenes like this were going on across the bar (it was still pretty dead maybe 25 people tops) but by now most people had taken a few drinks and were starting to bop around as a couple really started to dance. Just about that time my group was feeling the need to go back, I guess thet felt they were to far ahead of this curve and wanted to get to their own dance party. Since I was the driver I was inclined to leave, if we would have stayed much longer I was on the verge of challenging myself to go out and dance with the dancing girl mentioned above.
We went back to the house where more shots were taken and dance party ensued. Everyone was getting really loud, feeling like they needed to be heard over everyone else, and the music was cranked up so loud it was essential for them to yell this way. I wondered a few times why they didnt just turn the music down a little bit, but I guess when intoxicated you need music to be even louder to dance. I was feeling pretty beat, so I went to go sit on the couch. Sittign turned into laying, and amidst the loud music the next thing I knew there were people clammering to find pillows and blankets to cover me up with. I just went along with the pampering and went to sleep there.
Morning came, I had a sniffle in the back of my nose, thinking to myself oh great, here you go, trying to stay healthy, no drinking, and still getting sick.
I had a pretty good sausage omellette they made for breakfast. Then everyone started contemplating what the ski plans were for the day. To be honest conditions looked awful. When we drove past the mountain the only snow was the man made snow on the trails and it was bare everywhere else. It was obviously icy, and looked crappy. A debate waged over whether to go for the morning session which was $55 or the afternoon which was $35, most people seemed to prefer riding for the morning, but the price was just short $5 or the price to ride all day. No one could seem to justigy the $55 for a few hours in the morning. And there didnt seem to be great interest in riding for the afternoon. The debate then changed to whether to Ski or Snowboard for the afternoon, or to ice skate, ride the mountain coaster, and tube. That convo didnt last long and started dying off, and it became apparent most people were going to nap. One guy was heading to the grocery store so I joined him hoping to get something to help out with my sniffle.When we got to the grocery store I noticed a gym next door. While there I picked up some nasal saline spray (just salt water, no chemicals, sticking to my rules). We stopped at the boat store after as he wanted to look at wake board boats. We got back to the house, and everyone was sleeping. I determined that no one was going to do anything productive, so I proceeded to talk one guy into going to the gyme with me for the afternoon (though he couldnt justify the $15, so I offered to pay ( i guess it wasnt worth the 4 drinks he would have to give up, same logic I probably would have used last week).
We got a solid 2 hour workout in. While there we recieved a text that they had all went to the bar for lunch. It was a fun bar they were headed to and sounded like fun, I was a bit jealous, and almost wanted to say let's go now, but then remembered I wasnt drinking anyways so decided to stick to finishing the workout first.
After the workout we stopped at Subway on the way home. I did get a chicken bacon ranch (I at least loaded it with veggies, and my protien detox was starting in 3 days so I let myself splurge).We got back to the house, where he was going to shower then we were going to go meet them at the bar. It had started snowing pretty heavy when we had left the gym and by the time he was out of the shower the snow had covered the ground heavy. I was thinking that conditions at the ski resort should be getting good, just then he came out and said that they were on their way back. I waited for them to get back, and asked if they were going to go to the resort for any of the activities discussed that morning. It was apparent that was likely not happening, so then I went ahead and got dressed for snowboarding and asked who was giving me a ride. One guy let me borrow his truck and I headed out fo the night session. I got there and snow was abundant on the roads and parking lots. The resort was still pretty dead, so i was just thinking great condition, short lift lines, yeeehawwww. I bought a night pass which was only $35 I rode for a few hours, the conditions wernt as good as expected all the ice underneath was still there so things were rather slick.I headed back to the house after a few hours and arrived just as they were making dinner. I cooked myself up a couple venison steaks (much leaner and natural than the huge hunks of beef the others were devouring, ate some mashed potatoes and a salad by the time I was finishing the dining room was being coverted back to a dance floor. This time arranged a little differently, with chairs around the outside and setting the floor up kind of like a stage. The music presumed, everyone started letting lose slowly, oh and then the Bunny costume head showed up.
This was quite interesting as it was entertaining to say the least. It was a huge bunny head, and whoever put on the costume automatically took the dance floor. One comment was offered that when you put on the mask you feel free to do anything. I started to wonder if "intoxication" didnt serve as that same mask, if we didnt hide behind it, to let ourselves be free, or if more that it didnt allow us to take off our other mask that society puts on us, to walk straight, to talk straight, to do this, to not do that, to follow rules, and to not express ourselves. The symbolism of this mask will definitely play out somewhere in this journey. I participated in dance party for a while. Video taped some hilarious scenes even got up and danced myself a few times (it was much easier with the mask I must say). After a while they were all getting loud, there was a slight anger tone going on from a few folks, and I being sober was becoming more annoyed so snuck off to bed.
That was Friday and Saturday... next up Super bowl sunday...
Many people when they say they want to quit drinking, do so because they want to quit partying, quit doing the crazy things, quit being so immature....
That has very. very little to do with my plan.
Actually I was looking for the opposite, instead I wanted and am working on learning to dance sober. Learning to let myself be the wild and free, the unihibited person that everyone looks forward to seeing without hiding behind the guise of the unhealthy habits.
Again not saying that I will quit drinking entirely, I still plan on partying it up in NOLA, and plan on getting together with friends and having those fun times. I just think somewhere along the path we misattributed the fun that we are trying to have with the intoxication focusing more on the latter, and less on really enjoying the first.
So my challenge was to walk into the belly of the beast, and dance with the lions. And this weekend really had it cut out for me.
I ate healthy going into the day on Friday. Came home, packed up my bags quickly, my friend called and offered a ride up. He stopped to pick me up. And there was a bottle of Smirnoff in a paper bag on the floor and a case of beer in his car, all headed to meet up with all their other cousins being brought from everyone else at the house we were staying at, along with all the unhealthy food options you could ever want. When we arrived everyone else had been drinking for hours already. They were definitely not feeling much pain, very loud, and eating away at various dips (that were all delicious). The amount of food was great, but it was almost as if there existed a warning sign saying nothing healthy allowed (for the Friday night anyways). There were eggs and some veggies for omelets for the mornings breakfastes but otherwise it seemed this weekend was solely dedicated to unhealthy choices.
I will admit the disco ball in the dining room set up for the dance party was pretty awesome. And after a few rounds (more rounds for most) of shots and beers, people were already making there way in to dance and sing. Everyone slowly started migrating to the dance floor (im still drinking water, but trying to loosen up and get into my happy place). I started trying to loosen up myself and make it out. A few times i found my rhythm and started bouncing around, but I will heartedly admit taking center stage of the dance floor (even among drunken friends who were doing the same, still seemed to be to scary of a task for my sober butt). As the night progressed I was looking forward to going to the bar later that evening. there was supposed to be a good band playing and I was hoping to run into some ski bunnies as most people on this trip were paired up in the guy girl fashion, and the majority of those not were guys, or at least a break from the the drunken obnoxiousness of everyone around (they were really getting loud now, but they were all having fun so I couldnt mind to much).
The car ride was the worst (and it was payback I am sure because just the weekend before i played the drunken passenger). I drove (of course, my friends car that I wasnt used to. It had those back up cameras and we had a long path to back down between two walls. Using the camera was hard for me as I am used to looking backwards and turning that way. And with to many heads between me and the back window (we had 8 in the car I believe). When we got to the bar I was quick to get inside. One of the guys with us convinced the door man we had been there earlier so we didnt have to pay the cover. The place was pretty dead, there were some people at the bar, a couple tables full of guys and there were a few groups of girls around so I thought this might have some potential. Of course they were all in groups of friends and working up the nerve to infiltrate was quite a challenge for someone in complete sobriety.
The group was ordering shots, and one girl decided that the one guy at the table behind us didnt like our black friend (I really saw no signs of this, but she was insistent). I heard billie jean coming from the band on the otherside of the bar so I made my way over there. I sat down and said hi to the girl with (what I assumed to be her boyfriend) sitting next to me on the one end while I watched the band. The rest of the group made there way in just about then, so I proceeded to proclaim to my new conversation mates that I was that groups designated driver (as if i needed to explain away my sobriety because it was such a sin).
I watched as the members of our group took to the dance floor, a few putting on quite a show and entertaining the rest of the patrons of which some joined it. It kind of seemed like everyone there really wanted to dance and let lose, but that they were all to afraid to do so, worried what others would think, stuck in their boxes, and needed someone to go first. . Once they saw someone else letting lose, they started to try to let lose, most dancing very tightly, like someone was just pouring oil into their locked up joints. These two girls had came in and sat in chairs by the bar they were definitely in the category above, you could tell the one really wanted to dance, and just wanted everyone else to be doing it so she didnt feel awkward. A few songs in she was letting lose, a few shots were bought by the guys in front and passed to her and her friend, scenes like this were going on across the bar (it was still pretty dead maybe 25 people tops) but by now most people had taken a few drinks and were starting to bop around as a couple really started to dance. Just about that time my group was feeling the need to go back, I guess thet felt they were to far ahead of this curve and wanted to get to their own dance party. Since I was the driver I was inclined to leave, if we would have stayed much longer I was on the verge of challenging myself to go out and dance with the dancing girl mentioned above.
We went back to the house where more shots were taken and dance party ensued. Everyone was getting really loud, feeling like they needed to be heard over everyone else, and the music was cranked up so loud it was essential for them to yell this way. I wondered a few times why they didnt just turn the music down a little bit, but I guess when intoxicated you need music to be even louder to dance. I was feeling pretty beat, so I went to go sit on the couch. Sittign turned into laying, and amidst the loud music the next thing I knew there were people clammering to find pillows and blankets to cover me up with. I just went along with the pampering and went to sleep there.
Morning came, I had a sniffle in the back of my nose, thinking to myself oh great, here you go, trying to stay healthy, no drinking, and still getting sick.
I had a pretty good sausage omellette they made for breakfast. Then everyone started contemplating what the ski plans were for the day. To be honest conditions looked awful. When we drove past the mountain the only snow was the man made snow on the trails and it was bare everywhere else. It was obviously icy, and looked crappy. A debate waged over whether to go for the morning session which was $55 or the afternoon which was $35, most people seemed to prefer riding for the morning, but the price was just short $5 or the price to ride all day. No one could seem to justigy the $55 for a few hours in the morning. And there didnt seem to be great interest in riding for the afternoon. The debate then changed to whether to Ski or Snowboard for the afternoon, or to ice skate, ride the mountain coaster, and tube. That convo didnt last long and started dying off, and it became apparent most people were going to nap. One guy was heading to the grocery store so I joined him hoping to get something to help out with my sniffle.When we got to the grocery store I noticed a gym next door. While there I picked up some nasal saline spray (just salt water, no chemicals, sticking to my rules). We stopped at the boat store after as he wanted to look at wake board boats. We got back to the house, and everyone was sleeping. I determined that no one was going to do anything productive, so I proceeded to talk one guy into going to the gyme with me for the afternoon (though he couldnt justify the $15, so I offered to pay ( i guess it wasnt worth the 4 drinks he would have to give up, same logic I probably would have used last week).
We got a solid 2 hour workout in. While there we recieved a text that they had all went to the bar for lunch. It was a fun bar they were headed to and sounded like fun, I was a bit jealous, and almost wanted to say let's go now, but then remembered I wasnt drinking anyways so decided to stick to finishing the workout first.
After the workout we stopped at Subway on the way home. I did get a chicken bacon ranch (I at least loaded it with veggies, and my protien detox was starting in 3 days so I let myself splurge).We got back to the house, where he was going to shower then we were going to go meet them at the bar. It had started snowing pretty heavy when we had left the gym and by the time he was out of the shower the snow had covered the ground heavy. I was thinking that conditions at the ski resort should be getting good, just then he came out and said that they were on their way back. I waited for them to get back, and asked if they were going to go to the resort for any of the activities discussed that morning. It was apparent that was likely not happening, so then I went ahead and got dressed for snowboarding and asked who was giving me a ride. One guy let me borrow his truck and I headed out fo the night session. I got there and snow was abundant on the roads and parking lots. The resort was still pretty dead, so i was just thinking great condition, short lift lines, yeeehawwww. I bought a night pass which was only $35 I rode for a few hours, the conditions wernt as good as expected all the ice underneath was still there so things were rather slick.I headed back to the house after a few hours and arrived just as they were making dinner. I cooked myself up a couple venison steaks (much leaner and natural than the huge hunks of beef the others were devouring, ate some mashed potatoes and a salad by the time I was finishing the dining room was being coverted back to a dance floor. This time arranged a little differently, with chairs around the outside and setting the floor up kind of like a stage. The music presumed, everyone started letting lose slowly, oh and then the Bunny costume head showed up.
This was quite interesting as it was entertaining to say the least. It was a huge bunny head, and whoever put on the costume automatically took the dance floor. One comment was offered that when you put on the mask you feel free to do anything. I started to wonder if "intoxication" didnt serve as that same mask, if we didnt hide behind it, to let ourselves be free, or if more that it didnt allow us to take off our other mask that society puts on us, to walk straight, to talk straight, to do this, to not do that, to follow rules, and to not express ourselves. The symbolism of this mask will definitely play out somewhere in this journey. I participated in dance party for a while. Video taped some hilarious scenes even got up and danced myself a few times (it was much easier with the mask I must say). After a while they were all getting loud, there was a slight anger tone going on from a few folks, and I being sober was becoming more annoyed so snuck off to bed.
That was Friday and Saturday... next up Super bowl sunday...
Day 5
Repeat day 4.... waiting till we get to the juicy stuff for day 6,7, and 8 for the ski trip and superbowl weekend...
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Day 4
Tired of all the details, so im going to leave this one more about retrospective.
i did the breakfast smoothie,
snacked on an apple,
had a tuna salad sandwhich for lunch,
had therapy for my shoulder, and went to the chiropractor,
work blows and is boring,
going to meet with my buddy's dad the Dr, to talk about my detox plan for the month,
decided next week i through no meat in for a week, i dont think my body has ever done that, should be interesting
gonna hit the gym again tonight for a brief workout then go out with a friend to try out cafe india as i havent had it before,
as i said yesterday making sure to incorporate social activities into the mix is important, and it helps you realize you can have semi healthy social activities, and gives you a base to continue post the detox period instead of falling back into the same slumper...
i did the breakfast smoothie,
snacked on an apple,
had a tuna salad sandwhich for lunch,
had therapy for my shoulder, and went to the chiropractor,
work blows and is boring,
going to meet with my buddy's dad the Dr, to talk about my detox plan for the month,
decided next week i through no meat in for a week, i dont think my body has ever done that, should be interesting
gonna hit the gym again tonight for a brief workout then go out with a friend to try out cafe india as i havent had it before,
as i said yesterday making sure to incorporate social activities into the mix is important, and it helps you realize you can have semi healthy social activities, and gives you a base to continue post the detox period instead of falling back into the same slumper...
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Day 3...
Woke up feeling great a little before the alarm clock, body is a little soar (in the good way) from the last couple days of exercise, i wont be at the gym for lunch today, but i will go climb the 7 floors to the tower 2 times mid day, for now hot shower then...
Breakfast
They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, i love breakfast food, but to me it should be more of a lunch or dinner, and the protien smoothie is the way to start the day...
Todays Smoothie Included:
Whole Milk
V8 Fusion Pomegrante Cranberry
1/2 Lemon
Heaping Scoop of Whey Protien
2 Teasponns Prebiotic Fiber Powder
1 Banana
Frozen Mixed Berries
Honey
Mid Morning Snacks
Ive been snacking on grapes and cherries and just had an apple
One Snapple Green Tea
when i finish the green tea i will refill my 72 ounces of water to be drank in todays office sitting
Lunch
For Lunch I had stir fried venison with mixed peppers and carrots, stir fryed in olive oil, over garden rice
Midday Exercise
Since this was a non gym lunch day I decided to climbe the 7 story tower at work twice
afternoon snack
For an afternoon snack I continued munching on Grapes and Cherries and had an apple
After Work Workout
15 Minutes on Eliptical 1.2 miles 120 calories burned (according to machine)
Kettle Bell Lifts (3 sets 8 to 10 reps)
* Squats 35 lbs held center
* Side Raised 20lbs single arm
* Between leg Swings 35 lbs
* Tricep Overhead Lifts
Bicep Curls
Tricep Extensions
Leg Press
Leg Curl
Deltoid Extensions
Lateral Pulldowns
Dinner
This is where i deviated, deciding that I will go completely meatless next week, i went ahead and went for 6 Hot Garlic wings and a ceasar salad at Coach's to watch the Turtle Races
Retrospective
Felt great all day, I definitely felt heavier after eating the meat both time, maybe there is something to those saying you need to be completely meatless to detox, we will find out next week. The workout felt great, had much more energy than I have experienced in a while.
After the workout I chilled on the couch for 30 minutes prior to going to watch the turtle races at COachs. I think actually going out and participating in the social activities without drinking was an important step to making this into a more long term beneficial detox. Not that I havent and dont go out without drinking other times, just that I believe forcing myself to go out and still participate / enjoy myself during the detox without the things we typically associate with enjoyment that poison us was definitely a plus because it helps to break the psychological cues.
Went to bed at 1130, passed out fast no time fighting sleep that was for sure.
Curious to see how day 4 plays out...
Breakfast
They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, i love breakfast food, but to me it should be more of a lunch or dinner, and the protien smoothie is the way to start the day...
Todays Smoothie Included:
Whole Milk
V8 Fusion Pomegrante Cranberry
1/2 Lemon
Heaping Scoop of Whey Protien
2 Teasponns Prebiotic Fiber Powder
1 Banana
Frozen Mixed Berries
Honey
Mid Morning Snacks
Ive been snacking on grapes and cherries and just had an apple
One Snapple Green Tea
when i finish the green tea i will refill my 72 ounces of water to be drank in todays office sitting
Lunch
For Lunch I had stir fried venison with mixed peppers and carrots, stir fryed in olive oil, over garden rice
Midday Exercise
Since this was a non gym lunch day I decided to climbe the 7 story tower at work twice
afternoon snack
For an afternoon snack I continued munching on Grapes and Cherries and had an apple
After Work Workout
15 Minutes on Eliptical 1.2 miles 120 calories burned (according to machine)
Kettle Bell Lifts (3 sets 8 to 10 reps)
* Squats 35 lbs held center
* Side Raised 20lbs single arm
* Between leg Swings 35 lbs
* Tricep Overhead Lifts
Bicep Curls
Tricep Extensions
Leg Press
Leg Curl
Deltoid Extensions
Lateral Pulldowns
Dinner
This is where i deviated, deciding that I will go completely meatless next week, i went ahead and went for 6 Hot Garlic wings and a ceasar salad at Coach's to watch the Turtle Races
Retrospective
Felt great all day, I definitely felt heavier after eating the meat both time, maybe there is something to those saying you need to be completely meatless to detox, we will find out next week. The workout felt great, had much more energy than I have experienced in a while.
After the workout I chilled on the couch for 30 minutes prior to going to watch the turtle races at COachs. I think actually going out and participating in the social activities without drinking was an important step to making this into a more long term beneficial detox. Not that I havent and dont go out without drinking other times, just that I believe forcing myself to go out and still participate / enjoy myself during the detox without the things we typically associate with enjoyment that poison us was definitely a plus because it helps to break the psychological cues.
Went to bed at 1130, passed out fast no time fighting sleep that was for sure.
Curious to see how day 4 plays out...
Monday, January 30, 2012
Day 2...
I am not sure how I am going to go about keeping logs of the exercise and eating habits. Perhaps in a more checkbox or catalogged fashion, but for now I will just list things out in the blog.
Woke up this morning feeling stuffed up a bit, the hangover hung around for 1 more morning I suppose.
Decided to heat up the bathroom and shower in a sauna type atmosphere, there is something about the steam that just seems to flush the negative out and make you feel better, music is also important, i always listen to the radio in the morning while showering, im pretty sure i sing out loud quite a bit, not sure what the roommates think of it, but its a great way to start the morning,
BREAKFAST:for breakfast i started out going back to my homemade breakfast smoothie routine, ive slacked off of this pretty bad in the last 4 months.
ingredients include
Whole Milk (local farm fresh milk from Kroger they even take the glass bottle desposits back and give you $2)
V8 Fusion (fruit and veggied medley, i would do better to use fresh veggies and fruits but time wise its hard to store and juice the number of fruits and veggies that they have pre packaged, i make look to see if there are better natural options, but this is a step in the right direction)
100% Whey Protien (i add a healthy overflowing scoop of this, i was told by a personal trainer once to make sure i use pure why protien, as males should not over utilize soy or risk getting to much estrogen)Orange Juice (minute made 100% juice, it was what was in the fridge)
Pomegranate Juice (the brain function deep purple bottle, again it was in the fridge)
Honey (100% natural bees honey from Kroger, nothing over fancy in a bottle that looks like a bear)
Frozen Mixed Berries (its a mixed berry frozen bag, serves as the ice for my smoothie without watering down the flavor)
I am going to follow this with a bottle of Snapple Green Tea to start my morning.
I also have a 74.4 oz water bottle at my desk, i plan on filling this and making sure i have drank it all by the end of the day (if not more) keeping water flowing through the body should help to flush quickly
im using a few herbal supplements to aid in the process as well;
Fenugreek and Thyme was recommended by some hippie lady who was talking about energy fields, it is supposed to help keep the sinus cavities mucus thinned, seems to work really well
Probiotic and Prebiotics A Daily Regiment of to get balance back to the digestive system that has been damaged by years of antibiotics to thwart sinus infections
Zinc
Vitamin C
Fish Oil
Midday Exercise:
When you day job constitutes sitting at a desk and rotting your body away, mid day exercise can be very important to promoting some balance of health.
11am i had scheduled physical therapy for my shoulder recovering from an old motorcycle crash i never really built my body back up for. It has been going great and my mobility and strength have greatly improved over the last month.
Exercie there consists of:
series of band pulling motion to concentrate on the back muslces that support the shoulder,
light weight exercies focusing on those same muscles
reverse bicylce machine for arms.
I followed this with 30 minutes in the gym
15 minutes on the eliptical set to cascade
then i jumped back and fourth between 6 machines for low rows, shoulder pressed, leg extensions, chest press, bicep curl, tricep dips, and ab crunches
these were all done on machines with a lot less weight than i previously used, but its been a while since ive worked out hard at all, especially since ive re aggrevated the shoulder issues that i am now working to reverse damage on
i followed this with another set of low rows from a different machine and deltoid extensions,
this was all done in a quick move back and fourth circuit style with no rest in between to optimize the limited time at the gym
Lunch:
for lunch i had a Deli Sandwhich from Hank's Deli known as a Blue Ridge
Roast Beef, turkey, cheddar, provolone, brown mustard, mayo, lettuce, tomato, on berry wheat bread,
though this wasnt the top healthy choice, it didnt veer far from, you need the essential fats after a hard workout, and the whole grain wheat bread is much better than the processed crap you will get most places
Afternoon Snacking
Almost finished my 72 ounces of water,ive also been snacking on a bag of Natural Nut Harvest Nut and Fruit Mix, it consists of Raisins, Peanuts, Sunflower Seed Kernels, Almonds, Walnuts, Cashews, Dried Cranberries, Pressed Sunflower Seed Oil, and Sea Salt
Dinner
On the way home I stopped at SAMs club and loaded myself up on fruits and veggies. I ate a grilled chicken wrap. Mozzarella fire roasted tomato sauce, olives, mixed peppers, onions, herbed mushrooms, and bacon ( I can't be completely good),
I'm snacking on grapes now, and going to cook some venison steaks with cayenne and mixed sweet peppers here directly, will snack on one before bed and take the other for lunch tomorrow over a bed on whole grain rice.
Woke up this morning feeling stuffed up a bit, the hangover hung around for 1 more morning I suppose.
Decided to heat up the bathroom and shower in a sauna type atmosphere, there is something about the steam that just seems to flush the negative out and make you feel better, music is also important, i always listen to the radio in the morning while showering, im pretty sure i sing out loud quite a bit, not sure what the roommates think of it, but its a great way to start the morning,
BREAKFAST:for breakfast i started out going back to my homemade breakfast smoothie routine, ive slacked off of this pretty bad in the last 4 months.
ingredients include
Whole Milk (local farm fresh milk from Kroger they even take the glass bottle desposits back and give you $2)
V8 Fusion (fruit and veggied medley, i would do better to use fresh veggies and fruits but time wise its hard to store and juice the number of fruits and veggies that they have pre packaged, i make look to see if there are better natural options, but this is a step in the right direction)
100% Whey Protien (i add a healthy overflowing scoop of this, i was told by a personal trainer once to make sure i use pure why protien, as males should not over utilize soy or risk getting to much estrogen)Orange Juice (minute made 100% juice, it was what was in the fridge)
Pomegranate Juice (the brain function deep purple bottle, again it was in the fridge)
Honey (100% natural bees honey from Kroger, nothing over fancy in a bottle that looks like a bear)
Frozen Mixed Berries (its a mixed berry frozen bag, serves as the ice for my smoothie without watering down the flavor)
I am going to follow this with a bottle of Snapple Green Tea to start my morning.
I also have a 74.4 oz water bottle at my desk, i plan on filling this and making sure i have drank it all by the end of the day (if not more) keeping water flowing through the body should help to flush quickly
im using a few herbal supplements to aid in the process as well;
Fenugreek and Thyme was recommended by some hippie lady who was talking about energy fields, it is supposed to help keep the sinus cavities mucus thinned, seems to work really well
Probiotic and Prebiotics A Daily Regiment of to get balance back to the digestive system that has been damaged by years of antibiotics to thwart sinus infections
Zinc
Vitamin C
Fish Oil
Midday Exercise:
When you day job constitutes sitting at a desk and rotting your body away, mid day exercise can be very important to promoting some balance of health.
11am i had scheduled physical therapy for my shoulder recovering from an old motorcycle crash i never really built my body back up for. It has been going great and my mobility and strength have greatly improved over the last month.
Exercie there consists of:
series of band pulling motion to concentrate on the back muslces that support the shoulder,
light weight exercies focusing on those same muscles
reverse bicylce machine for arms.
I followed this with 30 minutes in the gym
15 minutes on the eliptical set to cascade
then i jumped back and fourth between 6 machines for low rows, shoulder pressed, leg extensions, chest press, bicep curl, tricep dips, and ab crunches
these were all done on machines with a lot less weight than i previously used, but its been a while since ive worked out hard at all, especially since ive re aggrevated the shoulder issues that i am now working to reverse damage on
i followed this with another set of low rows from a different machine and deltoid extensions,
this was all done in a quick move back and fourth circuit style with no rest in between to optimize the limited time at the gym
Lunch:
for lunch i had a Deli Sandwhich from Hank's Deli known as a Blue Ridge
Roast Beef, turkey, cheddar, provolone, brown mustard, mayo, lettuce, tomato, on berry wheat bread,
though this wasnt the top healthy choice, it didnt veer far from, you need the essential fats after a hard workout, and the whole grain wheat bread is much better than the processed crap you will get most places
Afternoon Snacking
Almost finished my 72 ounces of water,ive also been snacking on a bag of Natural Nut Harvest Nut and Fruit Mix, it consists of Raisins, Peanuts, Sunflower Seed Kernels, Almonds, Walnuts, Cashews, Dried Cranberries, Pressed Sunflower Seed Oil, and Sea Salt
Dinner
On the way home I stopped at SAMs club and loaded myself up on fruits and veggies. I ate a grilled chicken wrap. Mozzarella fire roasted tomato sauce, olives, mixed peppers, onions, herbed mushrooms, and bacon ( I can't be completely good),
I'm snacking on grapes now, and going to cook some venison steaks with cayenne and mixed sweet peppers here directly, will snack on one before bed and take the other for lunch tomorrow over a bed on whole grain rice.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
day 1
i believe in AA they always tell the story of every day can be your first day or something of the nature, i dont consider myself an alcoholic by any means, i dont crave drinks, hell to be honest i dont even like the taste of beer or liqour, i do ike the taste of my blackberry wine but thats another story (speakng of which i need to get to bottling that stuff and if anyone is free i need some hands).
what i do like about drinking is loosing my inhibitions, letting lose and letting the me that feels caged up in screwed up societal norms free
and i definitely dont think that drinking is all bad, ive seen a lot of great things come from the good times with it, i do think there comes a point when people start relying on drugs or alcohol though, a point where they put more faith and let things center around the substances and not around the community and fun they are trying to use them to help flourish.
i think its a shame that we have developed a culture where people feel that they need that crutch in order to open up, in order to communicate, to feel emotions, to not feel emotions, to express theirselves, to let their spirtis be free, to dance, to love, to let their souls live freely...
and im not saying by any means that, that is everyone, some people do find their peace, and are willing to openly do things much better than others without it, but in general our society and created an environment where those things are usually only socially acceptable in those situations revolving around having the excuse of inhiberiation as their jumping point,
digressing, why is this day 1? well coming off an amazing high that was my summer / fall i was living it up in the world, i had a internal peace i had found in my soul and it was guiding me places id never dream of being, i had met an amazing angel who liked the parts of me that i liked, and who made me want to be better at those parts, she made those parts shine... i had been diving back into my writing and music, i had put together some great works that even impressed myself, and hell i was on the caribbean playing drums with michael franti on a ship playing with a family full of complete strangers who found a moment of peace and harmony with the world, my life was amazing.... and is still,
but the crazy high of the wave was bound to crash, and when it did it crashed hard, coming off of a date with my lady friend one evening i could tell she was really pulling back and i was fearing i was loosing her, i sat there one night watching sons of anarchy, when i recieved a call from my nephew, he has had troubles with drugs and the law for quite some time, and it was obvious in his voice that he was back at it, but it was also obvious that he was reaching for help, i talked to him for a bit, tried to help him get some motivation and guidance, but i knew in my heart he needed, and i needed to do more, but my mind was on my own problems and i selfishly didnt do what i knew needed to be done, a few days later i get the word that he had been in an accident, no one hurt, but most likely drug or alcohol related, and most likely sending him back off parole and possibly to jail, and it just crushed my insides as i could hear the sound of cries for help in his voice from the day that he had called so clearly repeating over and over and ....
and i began my downward spiral, i lost all that peace i had had with the world, i got mad at myself, and started a tyrade of self punishment, i said / did some things that ended up pushing the lady friend farther away, and then realizing this i started reaching out harder and harder to bring her back, and completely scared her all the way away, meanwhile i was wallowing in my own self pitty and anger to much to keep up with my exercise, and my healthy eating completely went to shit, i was not sleeping well,
meanwhile life decided that wasnt enough for me to deal with and i get a message from out of nowhere on a friday afternoon that one of my best friends and mentors growing up was found dead in his house from an apparent heart attack, this was a superman to me, a person who had many flaws, but a person who was always there when i needed them`, he was the comfort of knowing you had a 4am phone call saying he man i just fucked up bad, and he would show up with whatever you needed, be it a hug, a huddle, a gun or a shovel, you knew he was always there, and now he wasnt... and i know that sounds like a selfish statement, but it was truly what i first felt, scared to not have that safety net anymore, and this man also represented to me proof that people can change, he had really turned around his life, was committed to his family and was doing so much more than just running around and reaking havoc like we used to do so well, and to just know that something like this could happen so fast, scared me, angered me, and pushed me farther into the negative energy path that i was falling down....
i was spending to many nights turning to the bottle and asking it to help me solve my loneliness, which it never seems to do, they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, and id say that was likely the case for this month, intensifying bad energy by piling on more bad energy, i got myself very sick with a sever sinus infection, followed by a stomach infection, and when i finally started feeling better i rejoined a gym got myself an amazing workout one morning, decided to go meet some friends after since i was feeling great and they were at the bar watching the basketball game,
had a few beers there, tasted so good as i was thirsty from the workout, they decided to go bar hopping, i joined, and many beers and 7 hours later it was what should be the end of the day, but instead i wanted to go fill up the lonely hole that was in me, so i ordered rounds of shots, drank some redbull and got my buddy to go downtown, where i seemed to be hell bent on causing havoc and doing more harm to myself, i dont remember much from the night, the one thing i do remember is that i was just compounding that negative energy throughout it, it wasnt the positive vibe that im used to riding, and when i knew i was in that mood, i should have never let myself go out and try to drink my way out of it,
so that brought me to doays hangover, and todays realization, or todays rationalization, or better yet todays allowing myself to see the obvious, that i need to uncompound all of this negative energy, i need to detox my soul of the negative that has inhibitited it, i need to clean out my body, and i need to get right between my own head and my soul, i decided to get back to my old goal of learning to dance sober, im going to challenge myself to a month long detox, filled with lots of exercise, lots of healthy eating, lots of time spent with myself and my fiddle, and lots of refocusing on getting right with my soul,
luckily i picked the shortest month of the year, and im heading to new orleans on the 28th, so ill set that as the date for when i can break back out of this commitment, and reward myself, and ill challenge myself to spend a month cleaning up after the mess ive made inside and outside of myself, its going to be a challenging month, but im going to keep on writing, keep on retrospecting
post from here forward will be more direct and more to the point of the day, i just felt the need to rant out the full path of what brought me here (this time) and where i am trying to go with this journey, its going to be an interesting experiene to say the least, filled with lots of challenges, but i will persevere and hopefully learn a lot from this, and make some positive changes that i can use to help not only myself but others around me as well, my goal here isnt to stop partying, to stop going out and having fun, my goal is to instead learn to let myself do that more often without hiding being the cloak of intoxication, my goal is to let my soul find a way to shine outward and to clean out the negative that has infected me, my goal is to get healthy in all aspects, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually
and my goal is to share this experience with those i love so that others can learn from the lessons that i will be teaching myself....
what i do like about drinking is loosing my inhibitions, letting lose and letting the me that feels caged up in screwed up societal norms free
and i definitely dont think that drinking is all bad, ive seen a lot of great things come from the good times with it, i do think there comes a point when people start relying on drugs or alcohol though, a point where they put more faith and let things center around the substances and not around the community and fun they are trying to use them to help flourish.
i think its a shame that we have developed a culture where people feel that they need that crutch in order to open up, in order to communicate, to feel emotions, to not feel emotions, to express theirselves, to let their spirtis be free, to dance, to love, to let their souls live freely...
and im not saying by any means that, that is everyone, some people do find their peace, and are willing to openly do things much better than others without it, but in general our society and created an environment where those things are usually only socially acceptable in those situations revolving around having the excuse of inhiberiation as their jumping point,
digressing, why is this day 1? well coming off an amazing high that was my summer / fall i was living it up in the world, i had a internal peace i had found in my soul and it was guiding me places id never dream of being, i had met an amazing angel who liked the parts of me that i liked, and who made me want to be better at those parts, she made those parts shine... i had been diving back into my writing and music, i had put together some great works that even impressed myself, and hell i was on the caribbean playing drums with michael franti on a ship playing with a family full of complete strangers who found a moment of peace and harmony with the world, my life was amazing.... and is still,
but the crazy high of the wave was bound to crash, and when it did it crashed hard, coming off of a date with my lady friend one evening i could tell she was really pulling back and i was fearing i was loosing her, i sat there one night watching sons of anarchy, when i recieved a call from my nephew, he has had troubles with drugs and the law for quite some time, and it was obvious in his voice that he was back at it, but it was also obvious that he was reaching for help, i talked to him for a bit, tried to help him get some motivation and guidance, but i knew in my heart he needed, and i needed to do more, but my mind was on my own problems and i selfishly didnt do what i knew needed to be done, a few days later i get the word that he had been in an accident, no one hurt, but most likely drug or alcohol related, and most likely sending him back off parole and possibly to jail, and it just crushed my insides as i could hear the sound of cries for help in his voice from the day that he had called so clearly repeating over and over and ....
and i began my downward spiral, i lost all that peace i had had with the world, i got mad at myself, and started a tyrade of self punishment, i said / did some things that ended up pushing the lady friend farther away, and then realizing this i started reaching out harder and harder to bring her back, and completely scared her all the way away, meanwhile i was wallowing in my own self pitty and anger to much to keep up with my exercise, and my healthy eating completely went to shit, i was not sleeping well,
meanwhile life decided that wasnt enough for me to deal with and i get a message from out of nowhere on a friday afternoon that one of my best friends and mentors growing up was found dead in his house from an apparent heart attack, this was a superman to me, a person who had many flaws, but a person who was always there when i needed them`, he was the comfort of knowing you had a 4am phone call saying he man i just fucked up bad, and he would show up with whatever you needed, be it a hug, a huddle, a gun or a shovel, you knew he was always there, and now he wasnt... and i know that sounds like a selfish statement, but it was truly what i first felt, scared to not have that safety net anymore, and this man also represented to me proof that people can change, he had really turned around his life, was committed to his family and was doing so much more than just running around and reaking havoc like we used to do so well, and to just know that something like this could happen so fast, scared me, angered me, and pushed me farther into the negative energy path that i was falling down....
i was spending to many nights turning to the bottle and asking it to help me solve my loneliness, which it never seems to do, they say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, and id say that was likely the case for this month, intensifying bad energy by piling on more bad energy, i got myself very sick with a sever sinus infection, followed by a stomach infection, and when i finally started feeling better i rejoined a gym got myself an amazing workout one morning, decided to go meet some friends after since i was feeling great and they were at the bar watching the basketball game,
had a few beers there, tasted so good as i was thirsty from the workout, they decided to go bar hopping, i joined, and many beers and 7 hours later it was what should be the end of the day, but instead i wanted to go fill up the lonely hole that was in me, so i ordered rounds of shots, drank some redbull and got my buddy to go downtown, where i seemed to be hell bent on causing havoc and doing more harm to myself, i dont remember much from the night, the one thing i do remember is that i was just compounding that negative energy throughout it, it wasnt the positive vibe that im used to riding, and when i knew i was in that mood, i should have never let myself go out and try to drink my way out of it,
so that brought me to doays hangover, and todays realization, or todays rationalization, or better yet todays allowing myself to see the obvious, that i need to uncompound all of this negative energy, i need to detox my soul of the negative that has inhibitited it, i need to clean out my body, and i need to get right between my own head and my soul, i decided to get back to my old goal of learning to dance sober, im going to challenge myself to a month long detox, filled with lots of exercise, lots of healthy eating, lots of time spent with myself and my fiddle, and lots of refocusing on getting right with my soul,
luckily i picked the shortest month of the year, and im heading to new orleans on the 28th, so ill set that as the date for when i can break back out of this commitment, and reward myself, and ill challenge myself to spend a month cleaning up after the mess ive made inside and outside of myself, its going to be a challenging month, but im going to keep on writing, keep on retrospecting
post from here forward will be more direct and more to the point of the day, i just felt the need to rant out the full path of what brought me here (this time) and where i am trying to go with this journey, its going to be an interesting experiene to say the least, filled with lots of challenges, but i will persevere and hopefully learn a lot from this, and make some positive changes that i can use to help not only myself but others around me as well, my goal here isnt to stop partying, to stop going out and having fun, my goal is to instead learn to let myself do that more often without hiding being the cloak of intoxication, my goal is to let my soul find a way to shine outward and to clean out the negative that has infected me, my goal is to get healthy in all aspects, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually
and my goal is to share this experience with those i love so that others can learn from the lessons that i will be teaching myself....
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)